Fat and the other thing

I've not always been the size and shape I am today, I used to be a lot bigger. As you might be able to tell I struggle with language to do with my body. I was fat, now I am.....nope can't do it.

The fat word is easier, because I know I was fat. I had a BMI of  29.5 at one point, that's is definitely overweight and almost in the realms of obesity. The reason I have trouble saying the F word is that now I have a health BMI, people don't like me saying I was fat. The standard response from those who have know me since before I lost weight is, "you were never fat". Errrr trust me folks, BMI might not be the most useful measure of body health, but in this case, it was bang on the money. I was too big for my frame, my knees hurt all the time, my lungs struggled and my blood pressure was all over the place.

People who didn't know me when I was big, will show mild interest, but that generally doesn't last long.The reactions I get, make me feel like I am being scolded, like I have said something dirty. No-one likes to hear that you USED to be fat. Everyone has their own body issues and whether fat, or thin hearing that someone else has changed is not welcome news. If I can do it, it means other people can do it, and they would rather not hear that. When I am talking to people who didn't know me when I was big, the inevitable first question is "how did you do it", boy do they lose interest when they hear the answer. I ate less and I moved more, simple as that.

So the problem with the 'fat' word is other people don't like it, it jars with them. It almost feels like a sin to say it if you aren't going to own, it so to speak.

The other word is a whole different kettle of fish. It feels like you have to earn that word, cross a certain threshold that deems you worthy of it. The problem is I have no idea what that threshold is. When I started on this journey I think some part of me expected, at some point, I would get a medal, maybe some flowers and the certificate that says, 'here is a whole other part of the lexicon which is now yours to use'. So far though, no medal, no flowers, no new vocabulary, just the right to say fat being removed.

So what does that make me? Who am I and where do I fit. Big questions, but never-the-less ones that rear their ugly heads on a regular basis. If anyone has any answers, back of a postcard please.